My Rubbish

sexloveandlacey asked: You spelled "yes she is the coolest" wrong...

Ha, well if we happen to meet then maybe the answer will change :P

sexloveandlacey asked: Do you think Lacey Maria Caprio is the coolest person to walk this earth? I heard she's pretty kickass...

Haha! Uhm I don’t really know you, in fact I don’t think I’ve ever met you in person. But judging by your Tumblr, you seem really cool! Definitely great taste in music!

Anonymous asked: Quit being a faggot and update your blog

Happy? 

Anonymous asked: do you actually have an elephant penis?

Up for debate. A very select few know.

As 2012 comes to a close, I look back at all the memories I’ve had this past year. I don’t know whether to love or hate it. Sure 2012 was filled with greats memories and amazing new experiences; but the bad experiences almost seem to counter act the good ones. The start of the year was so great. Senior, school was fun, hanging with friends, and I was pursuing the loveliest girl I had ever met. Soon after the dawn of 2012, I starting dating this amazing girl and everything seemed to be going my way. Track season was in full swing, I had the lead in the musical, and my hottie and I were perfect. Senior year ended as well, filled with probably the best night of my life, Prom. That summer from there turned out to be the best summer of my life. First a trip to France and Germany kicked off my summer. Once back, baseball was in full swing, grad parties every weekend, and, yep you guessed it, spending days upon days with my beautiful girlfriend doing whatever we wanted. Not to diss my other friends, but in all honesty, summer was so amazing because of the amazing girl I spent all summer with. So when school rolled around, and all my friends went separate ways to different colleges, I begin to rely solely on her for my social outlet. Looking back now I realize that it was far too much pressure to put on a girl fully involved and busy with high school. I acted as though summer was still going on, when I just had to wake up and realize things were going to have to operate differently now that school had started. And so, my start to college was great as well. Meeting new people, eating the food, being in class was all fun. The sad thing was that “she” made it all worth while, because I was going to college to work towards our future together. But she wasn’t ready for that. How could I have been so stupid not to see? So when that fight happened in late September, and she threw that wrecking ball at me, my life crumbled. I admit that at first I was in a state of shock when we broke up. It just didn’t seem possible. We said “I love you” just hours before, and then just hours later the break up. It didn’t seem right. And from that moment, 2012 took a turn for the worst. What was the best year of my life quickly started to become the worst. Grades starts falling as well as my weight and physical well being, and overall I just wanted to die. It seems very melodramatic and all, but as much as I hate to admit it, this was serious depression. I just simply lost all drive in life. And I know I needed to find strength in my religious beliefs, but in all honesty, it seemed to only temporarily patch up the pain. 2012 from this point on became one filled with tears and grief. Hell, I even started seeing a therapist to help me through it all. Clinical depression is a real bitch. Though my friends tried their best to comfort me, they just weren’t there. They were off at their colleges and busy with their different lives. I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. The worst of it all is that the best friend I had had in my girlfriend, threw it all away. She didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore. To this day I still don’t understand why, and I don’t think I ever will. And even though 2012 started with the promise of a great end, it ended far more sadly than I had imagined. I won’t ever get back those days of being with her, or those days of being keeled over the toilet throwing up and missing her. And as a result, my physical health has hit an all time low, as I know face several auto immune diseases and still the lingering affects of depression. Though I admit I’m doing much better now, I still have these unanswered questions and regrets filled with guilt. I’m sorry, even though I should be furious. But, there’s always a Silver Lining. 2012 taught me valuable lessons, and even though I may have felt like dirt, in some way some day these lessons will help me out. And even though my ex did cause my world to crumble, I thank her. I thank her for being in my life, because even though she hates me know, I couldn’t imagine what life would’ve been like without her. Most importantly, to all my friends out there, the ones that don’t flake out, and leave me in the sewers of depression, thank you. Thank you for putting up with my constant bitching about my relationship troubles. Thank you for supporting my involvements in Young Life and in school. Thank you for always coming over to my house and being there to hang out with. Thank you for being my friends. I love you guys. And hey, there’s still a couple days left in 2012, so here’s to ending on a good note. God Bless

Anonymous asked: What ever happened to this? I wish you would post more

Well, when I was in the process of dating my girlfriend, I found it very fun just to spew everything I though and did on my Tumblr. Then when I actually dated her, I was too enthralled with her to care about Tumblr. And now that we’ve broken up, I lack the motivation to do anything, let alone update my blog.